Dating is the way to discover yourself as you vet options for the potential of a relationship that will lead to marriage. I always say when clients are wondering “how to date” that dating is an interview process because you are dating multiple candidates to see who is the best option for the role of being your man.
How to Date: The Art of Dating
In my coaching programs, I break down the science of attraction and the art of dating. I instruct my clients to date three men at a time. No more, no less. And before we go any further--I want to clarify one thing: dating is two people enjoying a shared experience out in the world together. This can be coffee, golf, dinner, movies, etc. That does not include being physically intimate.
By dating three men at a time, you can easily compare and contrast different people and pick out which qualities mesh well with yours and vice versa. For this reason alone, dating can be overwhelming, time-consuming, tedious, and can often lead to dating burnout.
Feeling burnt out from dating is a completely normal feeling. When you're a single woman with wife energy who is on the market, your schedule will be full if you are dating for a purpose. Because you're going on so many dates, 90% of them might just be first dates where you decide rather quickly that the person sitting across from you is not someone you want to continue seeing.
This is why I recommend 30-40 minute coffee dates as a first date--so you can carve out some time to meet someone, get to know them a bit, and decide if you want to spend time with them again. That way if you are having coffee with someone who you absolutely know is not a candidate, you can end the meeting after 20 minutes--no harm no foul.
Dating Burnout: Are You Tired of Dating?
I know a lot of women who are dating on the apps these days who are burnt out by the process. The initial conversations, the getting to know people, asking the same questions over and over and over. It can be exhausting!
However, what if your soulmate is maybe one more bad date away, or right around the corner? Would that motivate you to keep going? The answer is yes. Once you meet the love of your life and experience true love, you will look back on your journey and resolve that you would have gone through it 500 times again if it led you to your person.
Gaming Dating
Look at dating as a game--or better yet--a treasure hunt! You are on a treasure hunt for your romantic best friend and perfect partner, and every bad date, boring date, or no-show date is one step closer to the treasure!
Wake up every single day and say out loud, "I wonder what unexpected, exciting, amazing, wonderful blessing will come into my life today" and watch as your manifestation unfolds.
Think about it: How do you think some of history's greatest love stories began? Do you think Michelle Obama woke up one day and knew that was the day she was going to meet the love of her life? How about Oprah and Steadman? John and Yoko?
Each of those people woke up on their specific day most likely expecting any other ordinary day, and at some point--a flash of a moment--their lives changed forever. They weren't expecting it, per se. This is how our brains work. We never know what tomorrow brings. Make it EXCITING! Wake up every day EXCITED for who you might meet and what might happen in your life. Your entire trajectory can change in the blink of an eye.
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