Beating the Single Girl Blues: Heal Yourself & Survive Singlehood

Being a single woman has not always been a comfortable place to be in our society. Finding a husband right out of the gate at 17 was once the goal for every young woman and the longer you sat on the shelf, the closer to the dreaded spinsterhood you goat. This was, in many ways, an economic necessity in a world where women were allowed to be wives, nuns, or prostitutes, and where brides were traded as part of political settlements, family alliances, and even business transactions. A single woman in this environment was suspect, often pushed to the margins of society, dependent on others for her very survival, and generally lived with very few choices to steer her own happiness. 

Being Single Throughout History

Over the centuries, conditions for women have slowly improved as the barriers to a woman’s independence have been torn down, with a lot of blood, sweat, and tears shed by many of our brave grandmothers. Don’t get the idea that the work is all done, but we are fortunate to live in a time and place where women can have careers and have a chance to realize their true potential, where we may choose our own mates in our own good time, where we may own property and keep custody of our own children. America in the twenty-first century is a pretty good place to be a girl, historically speaking. 

The state of being single has many facets besides simply the absence of a life-partner. It means you support yourself, you do the housework and the maintenance, you decorate your home the way you like it, you run all the errands and buy the groceries you like, and you make all the decisions on your own - from how to invest for your retirement to what to watch on Netflix. If you are a single mother, you are often parenting alone as well. Although being single can be a wonderful adventure in independence, it can also be a heavy burden. 

How to Cope With Being Alone

You will have days when it all seems too much and you long for someone to share it with more than anything, and you will need some solid strategies for getting through those days with a strong mind and body. That’s where love strategist and celebrity dating coach, Shay “Your Love Diva” comes in! 

America’s #1 love coach knows all too well that all that independence and self-destiny gets lonely sometimes, and it can be hard to find ways to combat those single girl blues. Sometimes you have to stop and assess your position. Figure out what activities make you happy, what foods make you feel good, what makes you relax, and plan for time to make those things a part of your life. Shay teaches ambitious women how to tap into their feminine energy and provides dating tips for elite dating singles. 

If you are a single DIVA who is starting to feel a bit depressed as she watches her friends frolicking through their summer flings while she puts in more overtime at work, you’re not alone. While misery loves company, Shay invites you instead to celebrate with other like-minded divas on a journey to finding love. She understands your pain, having experienced so many dating traumas and hardships and empowers you to release that pain and access your power. It’s so easy to focus on the fact that you haven’t even had time to go on a date in weeks, much less connect with anyone. Worse, all the overtime has wrought havoc on your diet, so the cute summer outfits are looking a bit snug. Then, your air-conditioner goes on the blink, and you just feel the weight of the world bearing down on you. You know you are supposed to stay positive, but really, sometimes it’s all too much. 

Your first instinct may be to buy a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and curl up in a fetal position on the couch and binge watch Sex in the City. Again. This could, conceivably, fall into the self-care category, but it provides short-term rewards at best and isn’t going to make your work pants fit any better. Instead of increasing the stock and profits of every ice cream chain and chocolate factory around, why not invest in yourself? 

Heal Yourself

Why not choose you? Why not heal those tragic wounds, become whole and then attract a whole, healed man who will love your soul? Why not learn how to avoid the men you’re currently attracting and increase your chances of finding a forever love? Everyone has cause to sing the blues sometimes, and when you are single, it can seem like you’re singing them to yourself. There’s nothing wrong with letting yourself feel whatever emotions come, but when you’re done with a brief pity-party, there are lots of great ways for you to pull yourself out of the doldrums. Start small, cherish yourself, love the people around you. Most importantly, take the time to be in a place of gratitude for all the blessings of this time and place and for the wondrousness that is you. When you can love you, the right people will swarm to you and love you just as much! 

Looking for dating or relationship advice? Book your 1:1 Love Coaching session with Shay's Certified Love Specialists today!