In the fast-paced world of high-powered careers and personal accomplishments, there’s one resource we all find irreplaceable: time. As a successful, single woman, your schedule is often filled with board meetings, presentations, and leadership responsibilities.
When it comes to dating, that same level of strategic planning should be applied. Love isn’t just about meeting Mr. Right; it’s about meeting Mr. Right without having to waste years of your life on Mr. Wrongs! I encourage all of my clients to date efficiently and effectively without sacrificing your most precious resource.
Here’s a dating strategy tailored for high-achieving women who are ready to find a soulmate without wasting valuable time.
1. Prioritize Your Time: Quality Over Quantity
In dating, it’s easy to fall into the trap of messaging/texting back and forth or meeting people who don’t align with your goals or values. Think about it: when you were a teenager, did you take a class on how to date? No, because nobody teaches women what it's all about and how to date as a means of ensuring you're partnering up with the right man for you who will add to your life for the next 60+ years.
One way to prevent yourself from developing an emotional attachment to a man behind a phone screen is to approach dating with the same decisiveness you bring to the boardroom.
A key strategy? Date three men at a time. Yes ma'am, build your bench. This doesn’t mean committing to three men or going to bed with three men; rather, it allows you to explore different personalities without becoming overly invested in one person before you’re certain of their potential. It also allows you to explore the way different personalities make you feel in their presence and allow you to compare comfort levels with each.
When you date multiple people, you give yourself options, make comparisons, and avoid the “all eggs in one basket” mentality that can lead to disappointment.
2. Align Dates With Your Schedule, Not Theirs
Your schedule is non-negotiable; you don’t need to rearrange your week for a date with someone new. Make it clear that dates should fit into the time you already have available. If a man asks if he can take you out on a date, you can respond with, "That sounds lovely, I'm available at 2 p.m. on Saturday or 10 a.m. Monday." Give him 2-3 time slots during the daytime to let him know who is in the driver's seat. If he is a high value man who is looking to be a provider and a partner, he will jump at any chance he can to see you. He will rearrange his schedule to accommodate yours. You’re a busy professional, so it’s important that any potential partner respects that and works around it.
The same goes for location. Traveling far out of your way just for a first or second date can be a time sink. In today's world, we often get caught up in the egalitarian principles that cause the gender gap. But in dating and romance, the old fashioned values must be applied. What I mean by that is, just because you're both looking to date someone and get into a serious relationship doesn't mean that you should put forth the same exact effort, travel an equal distance or that your time is of equal value. A man who is courting a high value woman like you needs to put forth way more effort to show he's worthy of consideration.
So when it comes to meeting for dates, stick to places that are convenient for you. Or if possible, suggest a meeting spot near your office or favorite local coffee shop.
3. Make Coffee Dates Your First Date Go-To
Coffee dates are the gold standard for successful dating efficiency. Why? They’re short, casual, and perfect for gauging a connection quickly. A coffee date can last anywhere from 20-45 minutes—just enough time to determine if there’s chemistry without the commitment of a long evening, an entire afternoon or worse--six months of your life.
Dinner dates, on the other hand, can be unnecessarily long, especially if you know early on there’s no spark. Imagine being an hour into a dinner date, realizing this isn’t your person, and still having to make it through another course. You've just wasted an entire evening of your life that could have been spent in so many different, productive ways that consisted of you pouring into yourself instead of being vampired by Mr. Wrong. Coffee dates save time and are easily scheduled during a work break or before an afternoon meeting.
4. Don’t Waste Time on Endless Messaging
Dating apps and online dating profiles are efficient in helping you meet potential partners, but messaging back and forth for weeks is a time trap and an emotional gamble. If you’re looking for a serious connection, the conversation should move to an in-person meeting within a few days. If someone is serious about getting to know you, they’ll be proactive in scheduling a date. If someone is serious about receiving attention from you and portraying themselves as being a knight in shining armor through the comfort of a phone screen, well, they will keep you on the hook as long as possible for their own ego. And the emotional gamble is: you may get attached to the idea of a person who is lying about who they are. The only way to get to know someone is by spending face to face time with them.
Messaging is not a substitute for actual connection. If he’s not suggesting a time to meet after a few initial exchanges, it’s time to move on. This way, you’re avoiding “pen pals” and making sure your time is reserved for those genuinely interested in moving things forward.
5. Make Dating an Interview Process, Not a Project
Imagine dating like a job interview. You’re evaluating if this person aligns with your long-term goals, values, and personality. There’s no need to go overboard with full glam and hairstyling for every first date, especially when you haven’t even met them yet. It’s easy to feel like every date should be a grand affair, but doing so sets a tone of overinvestment from the beginning. Treat it like any initial meeting: presentable, but low-key.
Building anticipation is essential in dating. Let the connection grow before you pull out all the stops. If there’s chemistry, there’ll be plenty of opportunities to dazzle on future dates. The less energy and stress you invest upfront, the more you’ll have to offer when it really matters.
6. Be Decisive and Confident in Moving Forward—or Moving On
Time is precious, and part of honoring that time is knowing when to cut ties. Not every date will lead to a second meeting, and that’s okay. Be confident in your decision-making, and don’t feel pressured to continue if something feels off or if your goals aren’t aligned. Sometimes, a quick coffee date or short conversation is all you need to determine if this person is worth further investment.
7. Protect Your Time as Your Most Valuable Resource
Ultimately, dating is a numbers game, but it’s also about strategy. By protecting your time, you’re also safeguarding your energy and enthusiasm for when you do meet the right person. Successful dating doesn’t mean cramming in as many dates as possible; it means being selective, strategic, and thoughtful in every connection.
The right person will appreciate and respect your time. You’ve built a life filled with success and purpose, and your dating life should be no different. By creating a dating strategy that prioritizes your time, you’re setting the foundation for a relationship where respect, alignment, and understanding are at the forefront—qualities essential in a soulmate connection.
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